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This last lesson is very hard.  The caregiver can never have the luxury of saying "I told you
so".  The patient knows full well that they did something wrong; it does no good for the
caregiver to pummel them with the obvious.  As I administered anti-fungal medicines for
several months after Aldeane worked in the garden for just a few hours (exposing herself
to fungi) I had to resist saying "What were you thinking?"  We were on this voyage
together, we had to work together and not let personal annoyances distract us from the
common goal.


Lessons learned by the Caregiver after having lived through this 3-year journey:

      that new illnesses yield a sense of deja vu as one is fearful that skin rashes are           
       a sign of graft vs. host disease, and   

      most of all, how to give glory to God for the opportunity to live through such an                 
       event so that I could partially understand how some people suffer in this world               
       but how He is compassionate in all things.   

These are some of the lessons I learned over a three-year period from diagnosis, to
transplant, through to full recovery.  Some people have it easier; some do not achieve the
final goal.  Having been blessed with a positive result in our situation, it is now incumbent
on me to help you as best as I can with your challenge.  There is much more to tell, but
your eyes have likely glazed over already.  I look forward to the opportunity of being more
help to you.  Please contact me through Aldeane's web site
( and
ask me questions you may have regarding the challenges that lie ahead of you.  I may not
be able to answer right away (as trying to get our business back on track after the 3-year
distraction seems to fill my time) but I will do what I can to try and make your journey a
little easier.

Caregiver Perspective